She doesn't want to show her dolour

“His first kiss is tentative, as if she might turn him down, and she pulls him in, shows him the passion she needs.(...)She does love him, but love isn't enough; she needs this togetherness to forget how alone she's been. His lips are on her neck, and her body responds, giving in, but in her head it's an effort. Even as she's rising inside, balanced on the hot, promising swell, she keeps slipping off into guilt”

“Stop, she wants to say, but doesn't. The darkness covers her, and from years of experience she knows she can please him without really being there. There's no reason they should both feel this way.
“I love you,” he says after, and she repeats it with feeling. She means it, but it's beside the point. They lie there quietly, trying not to read each others,s minds.”

:-/ sad, isn't it?


edit: a bit above 11 pages \m/